you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
