I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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