I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
