yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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