I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
