I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
