I will die if light touches me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
