i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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