hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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