So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
