if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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