I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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