The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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