Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
