Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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