Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
