ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
