I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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