Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Alive.
So much puke
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
