That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
