Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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