My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
