Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
