Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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