Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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