Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
