Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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