Me. At least after what I've been through.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
