Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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