she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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