Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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