sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have fence marks all over my body
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
