please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
