whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
