win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
