all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
