what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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