I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
