He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
