just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
