is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
