I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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