check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
