I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this will be a night to untag.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
