I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
