god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
