I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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