I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
