How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we made out on top of his cat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
