he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
