Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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