She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
